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One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one\'s work is terribly important.
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
I don\'t want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
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The nice thing about egotists is that they don\'t talk about other people.
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there\'s no risk of accident for someone who\'s dead.
The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
So I rang up a local building firm, I said \'I want a skip outside my house.\' He said \'I\'m not stopping you.\'
If you can read this you\'re not aiming in the right direction.
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I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.
A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
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Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
Anyone who starts a sentence, \'With all due respect ...\' is about to insult you.
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent\'s eye, that charms to destroy...
You got to be careful if you don\'t know where you\'re going, because you might not get there.
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.
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Hanlon\'s Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
I don\'t want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It\'s about Russia.
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Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law\'s peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
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Minsky\'s Second Law: Don\'t just do something. Stand there.
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
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A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, \'Don\'t you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?\' I said \'I didn\'t know there were any witnesses. Now I\'ll have to kill you too\'.
We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
One doesn\'t have a sense of humor. It has you.
It\'s wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don\'t work, those that break down and those that get lost.
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.
You got to be careful if you don\'t know where you\'re going, because you might not get there.
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
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A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
Research is what I\'m doing when I don\'t know what I\'m doing.
In this war ? as in others ? I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I\'m not there, I go to work.
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The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.
Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It\'s about Russia.
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\'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible\', she said, \'but that alone doesn\'t make it true.\'
They couldn\'t hit an elephant at this dist--
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Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
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Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse\'s family too.
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
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My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
Computer dating is fine, if you\'re a computer.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
Many a man\'s reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)
But at my back I always hear Time\'s winged chariot hurrying near.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
I have four children which is not bad considering I\'m not a Catholic.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You\'d be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don\'t talk about other people.
Mit der Dummheit k?mpfen G?tter selbst vergebens
It\'s wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.
There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?
Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, \'cause if they couldn\'t, they\'d have to wake up to the fact that life\'s one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can\'t seem to keep up is they\'re a bunch of misfits and losers.
Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
We didn\'t lose the game; we just ran out of time.
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
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I don\'t believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don\'t have it.
I\'m desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
A man can\'t be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
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Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.
A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
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A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
We\'ve all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
It\'s clearly a budget. It\'s got a lot of numbers in it.
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True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It\'s not a truck. It\'s a series of tubes!
I don\'t want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn\'t over until everyone gets their cookies.
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The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That\'s where we come in; we\'re computer professionals. We cause accidents.
If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
It\'s dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that\'s successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
In America, anybody can be president. That\'s one of the risks you take.
I am not young enough to know everything.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
If you think it\'s simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
I think \'Hail to the Chief\' has a nice ring to it.
Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one\'s doubts.
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they\'re eating sandwiches.
[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
Either he\'s dead or my watch has stopped.
As the post said, \'Only God can make a tree,\' probably because it\'s so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
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Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
I\'m all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let\'s start with typewriters.
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.
Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
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Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don\'t work, those that break down and those that get lost.
If you can read this you\'re not aiming in the right direction.
One doesn\'t have a sense of humor. It has you.
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So I rang up a local building firm, I said \'I want a skip outside my house.\' He said \'I\'m not stopping you.\'
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Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
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Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can\'t remember what they are.
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent\'s eye, that charms to destroy...
最終更新日 : 2012/01/27/(Fri) 21:44
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